If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
