So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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