My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
