My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
