you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
