You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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