My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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