Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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