you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Randomize
