if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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