she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
