I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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