Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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