Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
