If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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