So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
3 2 1 whiskey
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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