Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
whose ass print is on the piano?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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