There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
