and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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