I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
