Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
