when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My cat gives me a boner
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
