Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
