I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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