Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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