had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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