i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
