Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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