so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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