I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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