shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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