those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
