Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
