I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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