How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
