Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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