didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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