My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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