Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
