Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
