o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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