did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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