Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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