god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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