I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
