also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
