She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
