Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
