I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
