she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
